R6 - emotional fallout

[Sierra Reed]

during the immunity challenge


it snowed here this morning

hehehehehe. a beautiful site, we're happy tonight...

walking in a winter wonderland!!! ;D ;D ;D





today is going to be a very interesting day in namibia for me... i can't wait for darrah to log on later. oh, you should probably reference the first post from my "some convos" thread before you read "emotional fallout". that one is actually kinda important, it maybe shoulda been put here ah well


fallout always follows warfare. it most likely shouldn't have come this soon, mind you, but here we are. bomb has been sent, the confirmation has been issued... now i'm just waiting for the mushroom cloud.



i am going to go with rob now, it is official. from here on, if he will have me. i just have to work on making him believe, somehow, that after everything blows up... it was not my fault. i need to try to convince him that i didn't tell monica and darrah anything...

because once darrah gets on, she will have to do one of two things:

1) give me what i want and hope my threat goes away

2) mutual assured destruction


lol. in that, she honestly does have just as much on me as i have on her

maybe even more. soooooooooooo not afraid of darrah. lol. so not afraid. despite the knowledge that she has the skill it takes to get someone like me out of the game... soooo not afraid.

[Sierra Reed]

all my bags are packed i'm ready to go
i'm standing here outside your door
i hate to wake you up to say goodbye

but the dawn is breaking, it's early morn'
the taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn
already i'm so lonesome i could die







i miss stephen fishbach.




fuck i miss jenna. BULLSHIT that jimmy johnson is here and she isn't. that is just plain stupid.








okay so last night... monica was okay with the getting heidi kidnapped thing... but then when it started to look like we were gonna lose, the bitch goes and says she wants to get kidnapped and then mutiny.

says i should give her my vote nullifier. like, fuck that. and then says "you want me to vote out darrah right?"

but then later is like "i thought you liked darrah" and she keeps saying herself she wants to work with darrah... so what is with the whole fucking getting kidnapped to take her out bullshit?



and that would leave us a vote short over here... meanwhile it doesn't seem like JJ is totally the plan anymore. rob wants fab out, and i do too to be quite honest. but john still seems to want to vote out JJ, says he's okay with fab and what not but like...


if we go to tribal here this is gonna be super messy. especially with gay darrah being about to try and take me out due to the fallout





like... i think i suggested to rob not doing JJ, doing fab instead. it would help me, a LOT. and i suggested it to john too.

so that just helps to complicate shit. and the nmonica wants brett out, but like...

rob and i stand a good shot at getting brett on our side. and john likes him too. so why take brett out?



i dont know, nothing really makes a lot of sense to me right now i need to go back to bed, but i couldn't sleep knowing i was getting behind on my confessionals.


like look at brett, for instance. motherfucker has done TEN posts in like the last round. what the fuck?



and if i had to guess, it's probably, for the most part, a better read. i mean yeah i am an interesting player to watch because i am generally all over the fuckin place but... my confessionals have lately become like... atleast 50% incoherant.


lol!!!



ah hell, i'm more interesting than brett. he would not put himself at the risks that i do



"the future's uncertain and the end is always near"

- jim morrision, bitch







what do YOU think will come of me getting pissy with darrah? is this the height of her power>?


see i kinda think that her power has not fully blossomed yet... like, i could see, if it goes down the road it is going, that in 2 or 3 rounds darrah could very well have the game wrapped up. so i kinda think if i am gonna ever do a move on her early, now would be the time. but i also think waiting may have been smarter... just because it would atleast get me jury


keep my streak alive, sorta thing. lol.








oh well, it's begun, and i'm confused. i have no idea who wants to do what. i need to seriously talk to steph more.



OH! last night, when that group chat was going on and i wasn't able to keep up, i asked steph like "do you know what is going on in there?"

and she was like hardly keeping up with it, too

and we talked for a tiny bit...


and like agreed to have eachother's backs and stuff. so i'm not gonna be pushing to get rid of her at all, just fabio and JJ. preferably fabio, because i just kinda still think JJ would be helpful, despite his whole... hating me when i am drunk thing.


fuck that. sue me for drinking a 12 case and having fun with what i am doing


go fuck yourself if you don't like the drama. that's what survivor is about motherfucker

[Sierra Reed]

i wish i had not stayed up last night waiting to play in the challenge.


i find that kinda lame. not ur fault tho amanda, it's aarde's fault for sucking soooooooooooo bad


it's darrah's gay tribe's fault for sucking. and JT is a fuckin whiny little bitch, by the way. do the challenge right or dont bitch thay ou screwed up and lost


get over it...




i went and talked to JT last night...



it's the last convo in my convos thread, if you wanna read it. lol.

told him about the deal with myself and darrah. as i expected, she did not even tell him abt me. cause she's a fuckin retard. you can't just run the game with like 15 to 20 minutes a day. you gotta put in the time. and i;m not saying i'm running it, either. far from. i hardly talk to anyone anymore. but atleast i am not thinking i am in charge of everything like some little **** when i am not.






lol... i just keeeeeeep bitching. constantly
drama fucking queen.











cliquety-clique
oh my god you're the center of so much drama
your problem is you carry some sort of storm cloud
with you it's always something hysterical
we can hear your heart beating... mmhmm

there's a droplet of blood left near your mouth
if i wipe it away would you get mad at me?
if you bite my finger again i will scream

lets gather all the attention and put it in a pile
we'll let you roll around in our shit for awhile

fuck your introspective attempt at mercy

should wear a bomb on your chest, fuckin explode
or whatever that shit was you just went and showed

and with a psychotic murmur i fade off into the dark
i'm sorry i kinda missed that last little fuckin remark
but your fall-out is mild, you're so god damn bitter

let it go, let it go, as you're driven insane
cliquety-clique, over the very slightest thing
with you it's always something hysterical
we can hear your heart beating... mmhmm


















lol...


i should post something in public about darrah... hmmmmmm...
just to intensify the effects of my bitchiness lol


where could i post?




i see she posted last in treemail...


oh yeah it's her "i run shit" message. LOL.



i posted "you're lameeeee" in reply to her. LOL. nice.








there, she can get on, hoepfully JT will have PMd her abt my talking to ihm or something... or will talk to her soon atleast. she can read my PM. she cna see my public post to her.

and erin vee

can blow me













i have very bad posture. to be honest. namibia is not gonna be a good game for me

so, how do i go about getting fabio gone? other than trying to get john on board with it HIMSELF instead of just being agreeable...

??



i would like to put it on rob to do. with brett. get rob to get john to get brett
LOL

and have rob work on brett himself. then that would be four, out of 7 votes. that would be really nice. if we had those 4, i would even tell steph, myself...


or maybe i wouldn't, if monica would get her to vote JJ for real. cause then JJ could get a few votes so he'd be worried for next time and maybe i could turn him totally against whoever...



but that is all kinda in a perfect world since i just dropped what i dropped on darrah.


gotta see how all this plays out before i can really plan on having a future at all.

[Sierra Reed]

i just added a post in my convos thread that has a convo i had with fabio... a very interesting one.



fuck you darrah.


fuck you sierra too for that matter, at this rate... lol.







i am jsut soooooooooooo annoyed with this bitch that i am wlling to screw up my own game plan to cause drama with her

[Amanda Kimmel]

1) Why target Fabio?

2) Did you write that cliquety-clique thing?

3) Why do you think you're so screwed?

4) Why cause needless drama with Darrah?

[Sierra Reed]

1) Why target Fabio?

i dont think i want to anymore. but i dont know... it's hard to say, i'll just go with whatever.

it's hard to say who would end up being with darrah, who would end up falling for her bullshit. i dont think fabio is anymore unlikely to fall for her than JJ... it's jsut that, when people say they want JJ out, it makes me want to keep him. especially monica, and darrah. when these two people name someone as the one they want out next, it really makes me trust the person they want out more. because clearly whoever they go after is not with darrah, and not with monica, if that makes sense?


my brain is really cloudy right now, sorry.



2) Did you write that cliquety-clique thing?

ya i did. lol.


3) Why do you think you're so screwed?

because i'm not going to buy into darrah... i am outspoken, i really am just saying what's on my mind... like always.

and because i hate like everyone here. i like monica, but i dont trust her at all. and other than that, there's really no one i like. i mean, i liked stephen, he seemed genuinely nice, and itneresting. and i liked jenna. i hate everyone else tho, so how am i supposed to go far? i cant blend in and fit in with people that i hate, i'm just gonna end up making them all hate me right back


4) Why cause needless drama with Darrah?

i cant help her. she disgusts me. i am not exagerating either. she is literally human trash, i hate that kind of girl who uses her body like that to jsut get whetever she wants, fuck everyone... i hate that. she is the worst kind of female that i know.

so it's not smart, to cause the drama with her, but i cant help it. she's disgusting.

[Sierra Reed]

see... let me use this as an illustartion:


rob is EXTREMELY lonely. extremely depressed.

Rob Mariano 8:51 pm
(8:51:10 PM): dont feel like it
(8:51:18 PM): i wanna stick a gun under my chin, and pull a trigger
(8:51:21 PM): just end this for myself


and yet darrah preyed on him. preyed on that loneliness.


that is why i need to cause the drama with darrah. someone has to. girls like that should just not just be allowed to walk all over people and get away with it.



mind u it's nt cause of darrah that rob is so depressed i just mean... she knows he is like this, and yet she had no problem at all using him.

gross.














plus she just sucks and is inactive and that's annoying


lol!








sorry for posting so much today amanda. getting it out of my system.

[Sierra Reed]

well... to sum up the day...

darrah never came online. which is a good thing really, after i woke up from the nap i took when i was done writing here... i just didn't feel like talking to her, dealing with it all. tomorrow i can take that on. i gotta get a good night's sleep, that'll help. then i'll deal with the drama that will follow.



i sent her another PM, saying i was sorry for blowing up and that i wasn't going to do anything, i wasn't going to talk to people abt her... i just don't want to talk to her anymore.


is what i said.



honestly, i told brett that she is with JT... i think i told him that "i heard she knows JT in real life"... and i told fabio the same thing, when i was talking to him. so i did do what i told her i was going to do. to an extent.


but now i'm not going to bother with it anymore. i'm good... just deal with what happens from this and then let it die. hopefully.

lol... hopefully.



goodnight